6. HOW DO I START?

you start by stopping -- by stopping automatic action. as mentioned earlier, humans are not things. we are not mindless nor are we mechanistic. we are, however, creatures of habit.

right now it seems we have more bad habits than good ones. we work too much, and we veg too much. we shop too much, and we waste too much. but excess, quite fortunately, has an easy antidote: pay attention!

paying attention to what we do and how it makes us feel is often called the practice of "mindfulness." as psychologist erika rosenberg explains, "mindfulness can be viewed as an ongoing process of expanding one’s awareness to include stimuli that might otherwise be filtered out or not attended to, of becoming aware of the kinds of biases to which one’s mind might typically be vulnerable, and of maintaining a nonjudgmental stance toward what arises in one’s own mind (kasser 108). doctor jon kabat-zinn's definition is much more direct: "the art of conscious living" (6). this art's roots lie in the ancient contemplative traditions of the east. such traditions use meditation as a means to "encourage the awareness that everything that may arise in one's mind -- be it a thought, an emotion, or a sensation -- eventually dissipates" (kasser 108). in other words, nothing is permanent. everything changes. does this sound familiar? if only from this blog?

eastern ideas and practices obviously have found their way to the west. because thousands of years of practice and much psychological research support the efficacy of meditation, it's silly not to suggest it. at the same time, however, it's silly to believe that our nation is receptive to the idea of fully stopping -- of plopping down on a pillow for 30, 20, or even a measly 10 minutes. though meditation, especially secular forms, does seem to be gaining popularity among americans, i know they struggle with it. i know because i'm one of them. from meditating a fair amount, i've learned that this practice does wonders. it allows me to see through my thoughts -- to realize how many of them are emotions-gone-wild; or reactions to other reactions, not reality; or pesky products of social-conditioning. seeing this creates a mental space -- an openness in which i can step back from my habitual behavior and actually chose my behavior, actually live my life. still, however, social conditioning tends to take its toll. i oftentimes resist meditation because i am an american and sitting in silence with one's self is utterly un-american. i, like you, prefer to do and do and do!

when you and i do, however, we're often in a state of mindlessness. as kabat-zinn explains, "we may never quite be where we actually are, never quite touch the fullness of our possibilities. instead, we lock ourselves into a personal fiction that we already know who we are, that we know where we are and where we are going, that we know what is happening -- all the while remaining enshrouded in thoughts, fantasies, and impulses, mostly about the past and about the future" (xv). very rarely do we consciously focus on the present moment. as journalist carrie mclaren puts it, "it's the human tendency to operate on autopilot, whether by stereotyping; performing mechanically, by rote; or simply not paying attention. although exceedingly common, few people... realize the extent to which they live mindlessly" (mclaren).

this realization alone, however, is half the work. indeed, the practice of mindfulness most basically entails 1) recognizing that our focus is not on the present moment, and 2) returning to the present moment. we can do this while on a meditation pillow -- and/or we can do this while doing anything. according to kabat-zinn, "mindfulness means being awake. it means knowing what you are doing... you can easily observe the mind's habit of escaping from the present moment for yourself. just try to keep your attention focused on any object for even a short period of time. you will find that to cultivate mindfulness, you may have to remember over and over again to be awake and aware. we do this by reminding ourselves to look, to feel, to be. it's that simple... checking in from moment to moment, sustaining awareness across a stretch of timeless moments, being here, now" (17). it's that simple. but it's not easy. yet we can't make it too hard. whew, maybe we could use some wisdom from the ancient eastern traditions...

as buddhist nun and author pema chodron explains, ""when we talk about mindfulness and awareness, we're not talking about something stern, a discipline that we impose on ourselves so that we can clean up our act. it's more that we practice some sense of loving kindness towards all the details of our lives... our life's work is to wake up, to open, be curious and develop some sense of sympathy for everything that comes along" (94). this sympathetic curiosity resembles a sense of wonder -- a child-like (but not childish) exploration of experience. as mclaren notes, "little kids don’t have to be taught mindfulness; they’re naturally that way, ever in-the-moment and able to amuse themselves by playing with cardboard boxes."

adults, of course, can't really be kids. age brings responsibilities. still, however, nothing takes away the opportunity -- the opportunity to look at life and, like a young learner, repeatedly ask: "why?" with mindfulness, we can notice ourselves stressing in the slow grocery check-out line. then, rather than releasing this stress out onto those around us, as is habit, we can inquire into it; we can ask, "why am i so stressed, so anxious to get home? is a delayed frozen dinner and superficial sitcom worth this negative feeling?" recognizing and questioning our behavior, according to psychologist ellen langer, is beneficial because there is always something to learn in a moment -- "always something new to notice" ( mindfulness 74). if we don't first notice our stress, however, we miss the opportunity to question it.

mindfulness enables a quest of questions. encouraging this quest, langer states, "from a mindful perspective, uncertainty creates the freedom to discover meaning... the theory of mindfulness insists that uncertainty and the experience of personal control are inseparable... how can we know if we do not ask? why should we ask if we are certain we know? all answers come out of questions. if we pay attention to our questions, we increase the power of mindful learning" (learning 130,9). i, even as an all-too-hasty-american, can attest to this power. by catching and cradling myself in present moments, for example, i have wondered:

why am i spending my afternoon online? am i doing anything useful? would i be more productive at the library?...
what is this feeling of emptiness i am experiencing today? is it dissatisfaction? is it chronic?...
am i restless? am i bored? why? how do i usually avoid boredom? is it ever by shopping?...

according to psychologist erika rosenberg, "most consumer behavior is automatic. in general, people do not realize how much they consume or how they have come to rely on consumption as a means of recreation or temporary fulfillment, because they examine neither their actions nor the underlying needs that are temporarily satiated by buying things" (kasser 110). we unconsciously infuse shopping with purpose when all we're really looking for is purpose. as david wann explains, "when we ask ourselves if we're meeting our real needs with a given product, we start to understand that it's not the stuff we want but the values the stuff is trying to satisfy. we buy a sporty car to attract a partner so we won't feel lonely. we eat a quart of ice cream in one sitting cause we're bored and the real hunger is for something worthwhile to be doing" (250). once we realize the immaterial nature of this void, we stop trying to stuff it with things. as rosenberg explains, "if people are more attentive to their own experiences, to input from their environment, and to how they respond to that input, then they would be able to choose more carefully what to buy and when to buy it. this means understanding one’s true needs" (116).

our true needs are also our true wants. we don't really want a 60-hour work week, piles of products, and waste out the wazoo. we've only thought this because we've been taught this. mindfulness, however, helps us to learn that "getting the most out of life" has little to do with "getting" anything. life maximization, it turns out, best occurs through moderation. moderation, or ridding ourselves of excess, characterizes the lifestyle commonly called "voluntary simplicity." because of mainstream american culture, many skeptics initially misconstrue simplification as deprivation. author linda breen pierce, however, makes clear that "the term simple living truly is a misnomer. more descriptive terms might include 'mindful living' or 'intentional living,'... my best shot at a definition of simple living would go something like this: simple living or voluntary simplicity are lifelong processes in which we turn loose of the quest for more wealth, status, and power in favor of an authentic life of inner peace and fulfillment" (pierce 25). lasting fulfillment, according to many reports, comes from meaningful and enjoyable activities such as religious practice, conversation, family and community gatherings, theater, music, dance, literature, sports, poetry, artistic and creative pursuits, education, and appreciation of nature (roszak 75). these activities, which cost very little for the individual and the environment, are more valuable than the fanciest purchase from the fanciest shop. as author alan durning states, "lowering consumption need not deprive people of goods and services that really matter... for those who choose to live simply, the goal is not ascetic self-denial but a sort of unadorned grace" (roszak 75). writing of this "grace" in terms of "simple prosperity," david wann asserts, "i'm not talking about 'back to the basics' but rather 'forward to greater inspiration and satisfaction' by mindfully meeting needs more fully" (160).

mindfulness and moderation work together to enable maximization. they do so by fostering deliberation, or well-intentioned living. one must consciously intend all intentions. they don't arise on their own, even when they involve something as basic as day-to-day behavior. as psychologists kirk brown and richard ryan explain, "consciousness, when brought to bear on present realities, can introduce an element of self-direction in what would otherwise be non-consciously regulated, controlled behavior" (115). in other words, mindfulness teaches us to claim control of our own lives. otherwise, exterior influences most certainly will. at any given time, for example, an individual may become aware of numerous influences vying for his/her compliance. mindfulness, however, strengthens one's ability to make autonomous choices that best satisfy personal needs and desires (brown 118).

you know yourself best, but you know yourself much better with mindfulness. you know what you really want, both from immediate choices and longer-term goals (brown 118). such awareness is quite arguably the lone enabler of self-direction, of deliberate living. its benefits, however, are multi-fold. recent research has shown that both mindfulness and moderation are linked to high levels of subjective well-being and healthy lifestyle choices (brown 118). in this sense, deliberation is really a form of liberation -- it frees us from the obstructive excess of a materialist culture so that we can continually see and be ourselves. such vitality, quite sadly, is hard to achieve otherwise. as brown and ryan state, "in a world where commercial, political, economic, and other messages seeking to capture attention, allegiance, and wallets have become ubiquitous, mindful reflection on the ways in which we wish to expend the limited resource of life energy that all of us are given seems more important than ever" (119). in our american culture, it's especially important. through mindfulness and moderation, we must go against mainstream's flow -- must work against our socially-conditioned bad habits. stopping automatic behavior isn't easy, but starting to try is -- just begin to pay attention to your daily existence! by doing so you'll find a different sort of flow -- a flow that brings us towards the place we really want to be: more life!